Yesterday Master suggested that we could possibly do some outdoor bdsm, in particular caning, i love the cane and i must say i find this rather exciting..just got to hope the weather conditions are suitable as well as the location..after all dont want to offend anyone. This is something we havent done (he has before, but i havent) so fingers crossed we will be able to, he did mention it would also be appropriate for a birching..yep i can go with that as long as its not just one birch rod as a bunch its enjoyable but singular...bloody hell they hurt. OOh stinging nettles (are they around now?)..i dont know..he will *note to myself to ask him* as i would like to try them they can be very tormenting which fits in with my obsession about being tortured.
The trouble is when discussing these things with Master he always has to go that step further to make things worse ie. so its not so much pleasureable for me and i do tend to say what im not so keen on trying..so in a roundabout way i feed his sadism. Its like when i said to him about being tortured he then went on to say its about time my cunt had some real pain...um i dont recall mentioning the torture of cunt, just tits so now i admit im a little bit apprehensive about whats going to be done to my poor pussy!
Cunt torture hurts in a nice/not nice way once was a whipping with the tawse (im having serious regrets about purchasing that since) clamps with weights attached..and as soon as they was on i was begging for it too come off!!! i think those heavy weights have to go missing as we have some really nice light ones that would be far more suitable.
I know i get off on being scared and vunerable and even though i may detest it at the time i get a lot of satisfaction when he hurts me more than i like purely just for his pleasure.
Wednesday 13 January 2010
Monday 11 January 2010
pissing
A male friend of mine is laid up in bed poorly with flu..and yes its the real thing not 'man flu' so being the good considerate friend that i am yesterday i made up some casseroles and a roast to take over to him. Whilst there i needed a pee so promptly went to the bathroom, sat down and ffs i sat in piss! Now everyone has their little quirks for some women its the toilet seat being left up (which i can just about tolerate) but piss on the toilet seat really fucking winds me up. I mean i know i havent got a dick but surely its not difficult to aim the damn thing into a toilet and not all over the seat so some poor cow sits in it..not nice..and i let him know this with a tirade of lectures on what a dirty bastard he is.
On walking up the road muttering to myself and also feeling slightly guilty that the poor bastard is ill in bed and there i am laying into him about how to pee correctly especially considering i like being pissed on! but then thinking about it i like using wooden spoons to stir my cake mix etc but i dont like them being hit on my ass so in my mind its completely different.
So this got me to thinking about piss, and i love it when my Master pisses on me im still not sure about drinking it although i do when im told too which tends to be mostly everytime he pisses on me anyway. I dont find it humiliating but then i suppose its all down to the context its done in and when we do watersports its always done in a positive way, although once he made me drink a glass of my own pee as a punishment and i didnt like that one bit..but i wouldnt have liked it regardless of what context it was done in.
Thinking of drinking pee, once a few months back we was out walking back from having dinner out and we got to a secluded field which also has a footpath through it, anyway it was late and dark and i needed a pee as did Master, i went first (and i dont like being watched when im peeing so thankfully it was dark). So there i am on my knees in field drinking his piss..and we were being watched by someone walking a dog! Omg i was mortified and couldnt walk out of the field quick enough, Master found it quite amusing i remember being quite parinoid and hoping that they thought i was just giving him a blowjob...not that this would make my mortification any less.
But after calming down and we was well away from field i could see the funny side and also i must say it was also damn hot..no not the weather, but being there in the open on knees drinking his piss and the thought of being observed for who knows how long that person was standing there well what a turn on. And it was the first time i had managed to drink a fair bit without stopping, i didnt quite manage the whole lot but if i must say so myself i did damn well, and i did say to Master that for some strange reason i found it easier as we was outside rather than when usually its something we do in the bath...i think perhaps possibly its because when in the bath i do prefer to be pissed on rather than pissed in!
On walking up the road muttering to myself and also feeling slightly guilty that the poor bastard is ill in bed and there i am laying into him about how to pee correctly especially considering i like being pissed on! but then thinking about it i like using wooden spoons to stir my cake mix etc but i dont like them being hit on my ass so in my mind its completely different.
So this got me to thinking about piss, and i love it when my Master pisses on me im still not sure about drinking it although i do when im told too which tends to be mostly everytime he pisses on me anyway. I dont find it humiliating but then i suppose its all down to the context its done in and when we do watersports its always done in a positive way, although once he made me drink a glass of my own pee as a punishment and i didnt like that one bit..but i wouldnt have liked it regardless of what context it was done in.
Thinking of drinking pee, once a few months back we was out walking back from having dinner out and we got to a secluded field which also has a footpath through it, anyway it was late and dark and i needed a pee as did Master, i went first (and i dont like being watched when im peeing so thankfully it was dark). So there i am on my knees in field drinking his piss..and we were being watched by someone walking a dog! Omg i was mortified and couldnt walk out of the field quick enough, Master found it quite amusing i remember being quite parinoid and hoping that they thought i was just giving him a blowjob...not that this would make my mortification any less.
But after calming down and we was well away from field i could see the funny side and also i must say it was also damn hot..no not the weather, but being there in the open on knees drinking his piss and the thought of being observed for who knows how long that person was standing there well what a turn on. And it was the first time i had managed to drink a fair bit without stopping, i didnt quite manage the whole lot but if i must say so myself i did damn well, and i did say to Master that for some strange reason i found it easier as we was outside rather than when usually its something we do in the bath...i think perhaps possibly its because when in the bath i do prefer to be pissed on rather than pissed in!
Saturday 9 January 2010
to perv not to perv...
Im not perving as much as i used to (by perving i mean looking at bdsm and s/m images online) which for me is unusal as it was a daily thing for me, thats not to say i dont at all, i do just not as frequent. I do still log onto some sites we are on to read topic posts because sometimes they can be quite interesting and informative.
I enjoy bdsm films and im not talking The Story of O or The Secretary (although they were ok) i mean heavy real sessions which are very hard to find online, or anywhere else for that matter, Master has had me watch some my preference is M/f which is harder to to locate than F/m or F/f which pisses me off because men being dominated by women does nothing for me and women dominating women is just bearable.
you know the saying curiosity killed the cat..well im the cat...i know eventually my curiosity will eventually lead me into requesting things ...simply because i want to know what its like. It was like that with needles intially, they were a hard limit (back before i comitted to being his slave and had choices) but i had to know what they was like and once i comit to agreeing to something there is no going back and if i hadnt liked them well tough..luckily i do...just not keen on them going through the nipple.
I still want to get my labia pierced permenantley and must make an effort to get that sorted out as its something i have wanted to do for a while now.
I enjoy bdsm films and im not talking The Story of O or The Secretary (although they were ok) i mean heavy real sessions which are very hard to find online, or anywhere else for that matter, Master has had me watch some my preference is M/f which is harder to to locate than F/m or F/f which pisses me off because men being dominated by women does nothing for me and women dominating women is just bearable.
you know the saying curiosity killed the cat..well im the cat...i know eventually my curiosity will eventually lead me into requesting things ...simply because i want to know what its like. It was like that with needles intially, they were a hard limit (back before i comitted to being his slave and had choices) but i had to know what they was like and once i comit to agreeing to something there is no going back and if i hadnt liked them well tough..luckily i do...just not keen on them going through the nipple.
I still want to get my labia pierced permenantley and must make an effort to get that sorted out as its something i have wanted to do for a while now.
Tuesday 5 January 2010
back from beyond
Im a slave, i have an Owner and have no wish to acquire another one thankyou very much, im a masochist and enjoy most forms of bdsm and no matter how much i may protest that i dont like something the dribbling between my legs usually tells a different story.
This blog is purely to record moments not all of them but basically when i feel like it.
At the moment im fixated with being tortured, by this i mean being tormented and helpless to do anything about it and the many various forms this can take. I should point out that i get aroused from what he does to me but dont always enjoy it....yet i enjoy having to endure what i dislike..yeah ok it dont make sense..i cant figure myself out either.
This blog is purely to record moments not all of them but basically when i feel like it.
At the moment im fixated with being tortured, by this i mean being tormented and helpless to do anything about it and the many various forms this can take. I should point out that i get aroused from what he does to me but dont always enjoy it....yet i enjoy having to endure what i dislike..yeah ok it dont make sense..i cant figure myself out either.
Anyway im not a big fan of nipple abuse but when i think of being tortured thats what appeals, being in bondage and having my nipples/tits tortured....clamped, weighted, needles, whipped, cropped and skewered. Now i know i wont like it in fact im 98% confident that i will end up begging him not to before he has barely started (i guess thats when gags come in handy) but what can i say i get off on not having a choice, i want to be pushed past my comfort zone even if i dont think so at the the time. OOh and not forgetting the orgasms i usually get at the end and sometimes during make it worthwhile and i am lucky that generally he does allow me to cum and to finish things off perfectly a good hard ass fucking...there im not hard to please.
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